Sigh

Boy, this sure requires one hellava lot of discipline.
Since I write all the time ,I find this out of my ambit and something that needs some kind of persistent efforts to write in. Not that I don't have enough to write about.
I have thoughts that are tumbling out of me all the time. Now whether anyone else would be interested in knowing it, is besides the point. I have always maintained that I have an opinion on everything. And I mean everything. Sometimes I don't want to voice it, for fear of hurting someone or something others are attatched to.
Having said that ,I went for a rather eclectic concert today.Called happy music to induce the happy hormones and thus spread peace and happinesss? Well,I dont know if that would happen but I saw that the audience that had gathered there, was in a state of bliss.Its not often they get to sit in airconditioned hall, albeit very small, and hear a young group belt out songs( not probably heard before)-- seemed like lazy flow of a river on a sunny day. It meandered through ballads, jazz, eastern, funk what have you and it actually was a very pleasant evening. And then, when I do go for such things,I wish I had that special someone along with me so the happy hormones could flow into a serene state of mind. Special does not necessarily have to be of the opposite gender- it could be anyone, who is along the same wavelength- when words are redundant and when silence is so comfortable. You do have that with great friends too, you know?
Of course, if it is the great love that drives one then all the better.
Hmm
I'll leave with this incompletion for now. More on this later
Ciao

The Thing About Relationships

Yeah. Isnt this what preoccupies most people?
Either because of it or for the lack of it.
The damning part of it all is the way people get entangled, without even them realising that they are getting into an intricate web that will take a toll on their emotions.
Happens all the time

Like I did
like I am doing
and like I guess, I will be doing till the day I die

Why do we meet someone, who seems to have practically no reason to come but to make one feel worse than before?

For a reason, for a season, would say all those who are into alternate living.
People come because you need to learn something or finish something?

He came
He tickled my intellect
I told myself I can handle this
but before I knew it ,I was so caught
That I could'nt let go
I knew it was truly bad for me
But who hears the quiet voice of reason in moments such as these

So it went on
For a while
Words couching a wealth of passion
Triggering off days to look forward
To the next bout of interaction
Till the silence set in

A cold unrelenting silence
It clawed around my heart like the cold that refuses to be warmed
I tried my best to rekindle
To no avail

The distance was too much to surmount
After all
Only when you know what caused it
Can you cross that vast ,lonely plain of space

So here I am
Wondering who is having the last laugh
Its not me for sure

Maybe, as they say
It was indeed for a season
To make me see the futility of it all

Voyagers in this life
All going to one end
Got to be done alone
And that is what I am doing now

ill wait

Damn
I'll wait till the IPL fever goes with the passing days.
Annoying, Irritating and whatever else you can think of when anything becomes an obsession.


Here I am in high stress,
All cause there is a game being played
much shouting and yelling
and I am sitting in filing my life

What's it about men running here and there
would they do it just like that?
nothing is just that for
money is what they run after

Let them
I say
its no sweat off my back
but I am involved as bunches of my regulars
are no longer in circulation save for a few days in the cold


So I wait
Let this pass
As all does pass
And when it does,I shall know who lives and who does not
Yet amidst all this,I wait for yet another thing
A word ,a line, a verse
From somone I love so deeply
I just wait

Its been a while i know

When I started on this thing called blog,I told myself I would put down anything that came to my mind.Which is also why I call it Right Off My Head. But I do know that writing anything --even if it mayt seem like nonsense to others-- requires a discipine. And I am not sure I have that quality. OH, when it comes to deadlines I do cover it good and proper.But something like this?

Well then, if I have to get down to the business of thoughts making an appearance as words and sentences ,then I will have to say what I am thinking!

I travelled a bit this week. To Delhi and yes in this heat and when the election results were trickling in first and then gushing out of every channel worth its name. Strangely ,the surprises were being handled without too much hysteria and the Ruling Party has in a way been humbled by the way the Indian voter has decided its fate. Along with this grave sense of responsibility, also comes a feeling of doing what the party believes in. No more dithering, no more horse trading. People have seen some value in continuity and deep down all those who are in power today know that.

Ruling the country is such serious business. And there has been such a shift in the way the young India has percieved the leaders.Jago Re and other such enterprises, have ensured that the youth would feel bad if they did not vote. So out of fear of being labelled as being apathetic, many turned up at the polling booths to cast a vote.

And in that they voted for a young man,whose poise and dignity, probably does not match experince and knowledge of everything. But so what? Don't we all start not knowing much but learn along the way?

I do hope that this young lot will take everything in their stride and not be open to the influences of yesterday. They would need to think out of the box and remain to a large extent, incorruptible. With that comes the responsibilty. I have the faith and I have the hope. I hope I am proved right about this.

So then Delhi is hot - weather wise and other wise. But its a city with its own character. Am I saying something new? I guess not. But just see how things are bustling about. The people, the streets and the arts. Here is where international shows get their viewing and no matter what one may say about the South - this is the gateway to the world knowing a large part of the Indian artistic profile.

But then its also mine. Every place in India is also mine. And I think every Indian should feel a sense of propriety about every part of this country. If we do then this is a nation that will survive every onslaught - Am I right?

Everything you want ,is in the Universe

Its true.
Not heard of the saying-- if you want something so bad you almost invariably end up getting it?
Well, something like that could have spawned the kind of books that The Secret talks about too. That, put one good thought out and the Universe conspires to get it for you. Its a great super market out there- you can, if you will.
The thing is, most of us don't quite know what we want. We want many things that are obvious. Like a good job; lots of money; fabulous house; arm candy for the world so on and so forth. I mean ,the materialism is much easier to relate to . But then, beyond that are those intangibles that are so hard to explain. The need to be appreciated is so strong, that it has its own manner of presenting itself. To be loved; to be looked up to; to be wanted! And when these things are sought to be categorised, they seem kind of simple expectations-- not too difficult to fulfill! But it does not work that way.
Ever seen the horizon? Deceptive enough to be seemingly near ,but as you walk towards it there is only a stretch that seems eternal. Yyou never quite get there. And these feelings sometimes are like that elusive horizon. It seems simple enough to get through --but the more you go towards them ,the further they retreat. And you are left with a feeling of not having much. You have it and yet you don't.
In life,I dont think there is ever a moment of just happiness or sadness. Or for that matter any kind of emotion that is purely singular. Everything almost always comes with its accompanying opposite. Ever tried getting some great news? I'll bet you do. But then, along with that also comes something that would bother you .You really can't completely enjoy that moment of high as a nagging sense of its opposite, is also present.
Everything therefore, needs to be looked at in the same manner- good or the bad. Nothing new I'm saying here. But then ,only when there is equanimity can there be any place for fulfillment. And fulfillment does not come from finishing something- it comes as part of the process. The process is this business called Life.

Something so delicate!

There is one film that constantly reminds me of how emotions can be so delicately portrayed. Stories are told, incidents are narrated; but not all of them carry that air of poignancy without reducing it to any melodrama. The film I'm talking about here is Rhythm made by Vasanth, who brings in several strands of feelings and balances them in the gentlest of manner. Every frame you see, is only rich with this element!
Two people meet in Mumbai- one is a photo editor at Indian Express and the other a banking clerk. He has an account in this bank and she is quiet, reticent and retiring. All three words explaining her attitude and her demenour. She refuses all overtures of friendliness from him and while he is puzzled, sometimes hurt by her actions ,takes it in his stride. His old parents see themselves as a burden on him, but he is the quintessential son-- loving them ,nurishing them with his warmth and care.
What then would have brought these two together? A train accident! That kills their respective ,loving spouses and the tragedy brings them to this city of opportunities. She has a child, which he finds out eventually and the child takes a shine to him. The rest is probably something a cinema loving nation can predict. Of course, it is evident to everyone but them that they are actually meant for each other. A story has to unfold and the way they come together is what Rhythm is about.
What is tender here, is not fledgling love that permeates through the story-- but the way in which relationships are centrered around this love. Father and son, mother in law /daughter in law, husband and wife, the viewer and the visuals. Like a slow waltz ,the dance builds up the rising cresendo of music within every color every frame every expression is about human compassion, angst and ultimate joy.
In life too, relationships are the anchors -- we may not really realise that, but in every situation that would be the key to the outcome. Of anything. Ordinary things assume extraordinary luminance ,when put out into the universe with love. Love here is not the much bandied about term. Love is about living life in completion, inspite of imperfections. And if you see Rhythm ,you know excatly what I am talking about.